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- you’re gonna miss me chasing you.
- you’re gonna miss my pointless texts.
- you’re gonna look for someone like me.
- you’re gonna look for someone who loved you exactly like I did.
- I’m gonna forget everything about you.
(Source: theskullcandiii, via lftlos)
When starting a relationship it is very important that you have trust, and if you have been used and abused in previous relationships, it can be hard to trust again. But, in order to have a healthy relationship, you need to figure out how to trust, as you can’t have a healthy relationship without having trust to keep the relationship together.
So, here are the tips that I have for rebuilding your trust and learning how to trust, especially after you have gotten out of a bad relationship where the trust was minimal to none.
- Before starting a new relationship, make sure that you are ready for it. Give yourself time to heal from the previous relationship that caused you to lose your trust in men/women before you try to jump into another relationship. You will know when you are ready to try again.
Start a new relationship off slowly. From the beginning make sure that you both understand that you want to take things slow. Be honest from the get-go, so that your partner is aware that you do like him, but just need to take things slow because past relationships have not gone as smoothly as you would like, and you just don’t want to rush anything.
- Be patient and do not rush. Your trust in men will return, but it will take time before you are at full speed again. When trying to convince yourself to trust your new boyfriend, think hard. Has he ever given you a reason not to trust him? What is he telling you? How open is he being, especially about telling you things before you have a chance to ask? If he hasn’t given you a reason to dis-trust him yet, then trust him, which can be hard especially if you’re thinking of what will he do in the future that will cause you to lose trust again. Just be patient. Take the beginning of the new relationship day by day.
- If you start to see patterns in your new relationship that you saw in your past relationship, stop things before they get too serious. No, that doesn’t mean leave the relationship just yet; it means talk it out now so that he know what is going on in your head about the situation and you can see how the two of you can alter the actions and reactions. f he doesn’t know, then nothing can change. He may actually be an honest, trustworthy person.
- Talk to him. Ask him what he’s thinking. You don’t know what’s going on his his head, unless you ask. You can’t assume you know what he’s thinking. You can’t assume that you know his thoughts about you and your relationship or about situations and scenarios that you are encountering.
- Stop creating stories and scenarios in your head. These thoughts have no real basis, and they create suspicion about your partner. If you can stop or just change up these scenarios, then you can stop thinking the worse about your partner. Plus, these made-up scenarios in your head could be the downfall of a potentially wonderful and near perfect relationship that you would have had if you had stopped or altered the thoughts.
- Always tell the truth. If you can speak the truth and your partner can speak the truth back to you without either of you getting defensive, you will be able to foster better relationship with your partner because you will be able to freely express what you are thinking and how you are feeling without the fear of being judged.
Remember that the foundation for any healthy relationship is emotional safety and trust (physical safety, being a given), so if you are not emotionally secure with your partner, you need to find the proper means of expressing yourself so that you can better the relationship.
You need to base trust on yourself, not the other person. If you have trust issues in a relationship, you need to diagnose the problem, as to why don’t you trust your partner. Once you know why you don’t trust him, then you can figure out how to fix the situation. You may not be with the right person but you may. You will not know unless you fix your trust issues and give the relationship a proper try.
No matter what reason has caused you to lose your trust, you should remember that if you do not have trust in your relationship and your partner, you need to be willing to work on finding ways to trust, which will depend on how willing you are at opening up to your partner.
Often, some guys will just assume things rather then take the time to understand her. You have to listen to what she thinks, pay attention to how she acts, you know? Everything she does has reason to it whether you decide to see it or not, talk to her and take an in depth look into her thoughts because her thoughts represent how she feels and why she feels the way she does. Don’t assume she’s just being mad or sad for no reason, you need to find out why and in return work to resolve whatever the problem may be. Remember, she wants you to pay attention to her mind, it shows that you see her for what she thinks and who she is as an individual, rather then what she looks like on the outside. Just take the time and listen to her, I promise you that’s what she wants from you.
(Source: trungphan, via iamforeverawzm)
- 1. Trust one another
Trusting one another is a basic requirement for every relationship. Trust is a key ingredient for any healthy relationship and without trust, a relationship has no base at all. Despite the world accusing your partner of anything, you should be strong enough to identify, connect and most importantly trust your partner so much that he/she never feels lonely even when the world turns its back. Without trust, there would always be a situation wherein you would find either partner having a doubt about the other one. The constant doubt and suspicion would deepen the cracks in a healthy relationship and ultimately result in a split.
- 2. Accept flaws
You must understand that every person on this planet has its positive and negative attributes and your partner is no exception to this rule. Accepting each other’s flaws and mistakes is something that helps you strengthen your bond among yourselves and build a strong and lasting relationship. When you know each other’s positive and negative qualities, it helps the two of you adjust better with each other. Also, when the mistakes are accepted, there is lesser chance that you will constantly criticize your partner about them. Thus, knowing these little things and dealing with them in the course of life is the most effective solution that would help strengthen your bond with your partner.
- 3. Respect each other
Respect is another aspect of a relationship that cannot be ignored. It is only when you respect one another will the world respect your relationship. Respect is not something that happens overnight. You need to work hard to gain your partner’s respect. When you respect your partner, you place him/her a notch above the rest which in turn makes your partner feel special and results in strengthening your relationship.
- 4. Give each other space
When couples lose their space in a relationship, they tend to suffocate and ultimately break away from the relationship. Giving each other space to lead lives separate from one another is vital in a relationship. Space means giving each other time to retain individuality and fully trust each other. Space would keep the two you apart for some time yet bind you closer in the relationship.
- 5. Break predictability
Predictability can act as a silent killer in a relationship. When everything about your relationship is known and out in the open, it gives boredom the scope of creeping in and ruining things. Predictability must be avoided by the two of you. Give occasional surprises to one another by breaking away from routine. Make ways for regular getaways to unexplored places. If nothing, walk down the street right after dinner to get ice-cream. Breaking away from routine is a big stress buster and enhances any relationship for the better.
- 6. Indulge in activities together
Togetherness can do wonders for a relationship. Being together and trying out new things can be a fun way to spice up your relationship. Whether it is learning a new form of dance or trying to cook a new dish, do these activities together. In the busy schedule of the present lifestyle, seldom do couples get a chance to spend quality time together. The mantra should be to make every moment a memorable one when you are together. This will keep you close to one another and erase any possible chance of boredom in the relationship.
- 7. Forgive and forget
If you keep holding on to something wrong that your partner must have done, you might end up turning the relationship sour. Rather than holding the feeling, the approach should be to talk to him/her at the right time and then forgive and forget the entire incident. If you can forgive your partner and move on in life, you show to them that nothing is more important to you than the two of being together and this in turn would make sure that the mistake is never repeated again.
- 8. Keep the spark alive
You need to do very simple things to make sure that your partner wants to keep coming back for more. The romance should always be kept alive between you and your partner otherwise both of you will begin feeling that the love between the two of you is vanishing. Small things go a long way when done in the right manner. Go an extra mile to ensure that your partner feels special. Indulge in love making more frequently. Make your partner your prime focus and make sure that you work accordingly. You would be able to see the change in almost no time.
- 9. Accept changes
It is rightly said that change is the only thing that remains constant in life. With time, every person has to cope with certain changes. These changes may be both physical as well as emotional. Individuals themselves grapple to cope up with these changes and would find it even more difficult if their partner cannot accept them for who they are. You need to remember that change is a way of life and this change may not be to your partner’s choice. They would need your support and you should constantly assure them that no matter what happens, you still love them for who they are. When a couple accepts these changes together, it makes the bond among them stronger.
- 10. Be a team
During every phase, life will be more enjoyable if you work together as a team. If you come across a problem,try and solve it together instead of putting the load on one person. When you know you can count on one another, you have a strong mental connect and a feeling that you are not alone there is someone to support you in times of crisis. Also when you team up together to battle the challenges of daily life, problems will become more bearable as you know you have your partner around to help you.
These little things do not take much of time and they are worth the effort. At the end of the day, if your partner is happy, you will also feel a sense of contentment with your relationship.
(Source: trungphan, via shyieesolove)
(Source: boyslikegirlslikeboys, via random-guy-stuff)
